Another anti-dude tirade

Sometimes, everything sucks.

—-pause—-

I’m giving you complete permission to skip this post if my opening line proved to be too cheery for you. I don’t think this will turn out to be a total Debbie Downer, but it’s at least gonna start that way.

A good friend (okay, a very good friend — like best friend) of mine just had a short but intense relationship end. She was under the impression that all the good things it had brought were just beginning (as was everyone else who was witness to this twosome), and didn’t see the abrupt end coming. Her birthday is tomorrow.

source: Texting My Pancreas

That just…that just sucks. I’m concerned for my ability to comfort and be there for her, because this reminds me all too much of my fading but still-recent-enough-to-be-painful breakup, and the best things I can come up with to say do not do a very good job of masking my intense disdain for anything with a penis. Dudes are awful.

This dude doesn’t suck that much, but as whole, most dudes still suck tremendously. I don’t like that this happened so close to her birthday, and I don’t like that he ended things only after pulling both of them past the this-could-still-just-be-a-fling point.

Of course, he still wants to talk to her and like omgletsbefriends.

source: someecards.com

We all know how I feel about that.

I’ll be joining her tonight to hopefully drown some of our sorrows in a messy alcoholic haze, but I’m going to have to do my best to keep my man-hating rants to myself. Bitching about a dude that hairline-fractured (not broke) my heart isn’t gonna do her any good, but it’s hard not to want to scream SEEITOLDYOUSOAREN’THEYALLHORRIBLEOMG

(To clarify, I don’t really hate men. I just think they’re mostly worthless putzes at the moment. This may just be temporary.)

it's fun to break up with people over text message!

This week I was also stood up by a freaking OKCupid date who I had not yet met. I’m having a little trouble understanding this logic, seeing as he asked me out, sent me several nice, normal-sounding conversational emails, set up a date, then went to the trouble of emailing me asking if we could postpone (major eyeroll and air quotes here, people) the date — did he Google me and find some horrific picture I don’t yet know exists? Shocker shocker, he was never heard from again (which is slightly awkward as his full name sits prominently at the top of my gchat list now). But clearly he’s an asshole and seeing as I didn’t even waste a leg shave or a swipe of overly expensive lipstick on the bastard, I’m almost glad he showed his true colors this early. But really, guys — what gives? Someone needs to lock these kind of idiots in a cage before they reach breeding age.

source: Street Knowledge Media

On a cheerier note, I got some new glasses! After paying an arm, a leg, and my pinky toe (for a copay, obviously), I am the proud owner of a pair of Oliver Peoples hipsta-nerd glasses. I kind of love them. Everyone may just be being nice, but I’ve gotten a lot of compliments on them as well, which makes me feel a little more secure since they were outrageously expensive and not exactly…neutral looking? A certain dude who shall not be mentioned (and yes, I know you’re reading this) asked me, however, if this was a situation where he had to lie just to be nice. And said that they mask my sweetness, or something along those lines.

Big middle finger.

I like them, so I stick my tongue out at you, sir! I’m a sweet pea, and my glasses ain’t gonna change that.

In conclusion, men are giant babies who deserve to be locked in cages. And I’m getting drunk tonight.

August 26, 2011 at 3:19 pm 5 comments

Phone-captured history

Hi guys!

I’m here! Life is insane.

I have essentially started a new position at work, and beyond that, my brain is all mushy. I apologize for being MIA :(

My lovely Philly Nerd Girl was my partner in Amy‘s Blogger Bake Swap! She was ridiculously quick and sent me some serious goodies right away.

I loooooove packages!!

The goods:

She didn’t tell me, but I’m pretty sure these are Mexican wedding cookies. They’re kind of like lemony, tangy sugar cookies, but…I don’t know, different! I ate the entire bag in like, three days. I shared of course, but it goes without saying that these were my lunch a few days in a row :D Lots of love to my bloggie bake partner!!

I’m a terrible person and haven’t sent hers yet. I tested the recipe for her treats last night to be sure they were good enough for someone besides myself to eat. They were :D

In other news, froyo has been consumed.

The drive to Madison is really pretty at sunset.

The beer in Madison is also pretty great.

I learned that Trader Joe’s stir-fry sauce is really good on baked chicken.

Garlic Gold and olive oil go pretty nicely with quinoa, too :)

———

And last, but certainly not least — gay Twister is way crazier than I ever could have imagined.

Will return soon, loves — promise!

August 23, 2011 at 3:02 pm 3 comments

Lessons learned at 3am

  • If you don’t have a dishwasher, wash your dishes immediately after you use them. Don’t ask, just do it.
  • The smell of curry will linger in a studio apartment for longer than 24 hours.
  • No really — NOTHING MAKES IT GO AWAY.
  • Organic canned pumpkin does not stay in the fridge for as long as you’d think it would.
  • When kiwis go bad and get gooey on the counter, they leave behind a strange, pinkish color.
Hmm. I’m gross. I could say, Yeah, but life got busy! It was the weekend! Yadda yadda yaddah, but no — my kitchen was looking pretty janky. Let’s not let that happen agin, mmkay?
——
On that note, I have some pictures of gay Twister that are coming up next. I also had a pretty ridiculous weekend involving a bunch of boys from Wisconsin.
——
——
Hold on to your seats, gals. When did my life get so crazy?

August 16, 2011 at 6:30 am 3 comments

Weekend dance, half naked men…wait, what?

I just read the best line on a guest post from Colleen @ The Lunchbox Diares on Life of Blyss — “So instead of being a picky eater, I’m a pack-y eater.”

Ahhhh, I love this. I love this!

Can I marry this quote? Okay, sorry — I’m being a creep (my creepiness is something my dear love Ali loves to point out when I suggest sleeping in her walk-in closet).

Anywho…

Guess what? It’s Friday. You know what that means? It means that in approximately 6 hours, I am going to have a beer in my hand. And then after that, I’ll have another. Maybe I’ll sneak a Captain and diet in there, but it’s mostly gonna be beer. Ooooh, I am so excited.

I love beer. Oh god, I am such a creep.

I have some seriously crazy plans this weekend, and I am totally thrilled. If you haven’t noticed, I am a totally social person. I love being around people all. the. time. I tend to get lonely really easily, so when I have plans lined up for the entire weekend before it’s even Friday, I’m a pretty happy girl.

I’m planning on grabbing drinks with coworkers today after work (or rather, begging on the sidewalk for change so I can drink despite the sorry pre-payday state of my bank account), which is one of those things that always makes me feel like some sort of fabulous city dweller. What are you doing tonight? Oh, I’m just hitting up some fabulous happy hour on some fabulous rooftop with fabulous views of the fabulous skyline drinking fabulous cocktails. What about you?

So I’ve somehow miraculously stayed in touch with a dude that I dated briefly while living in Madison. My general rule is no friends with exes,  but enough time (and distance) is between us and I rarely see him anyway, so I have no problem keeping in touch. Plus, he’s pretty cute, so he’s not bad to keep around ;) Anywho, he is in Chicago this weekend for a work trip (I have no idea what this guy does but they are always flying him all over the country and he texts me from random hotels in random cities from time to time) and asked if I wanted to meet up.

He invited me to to go to the Arlington Race Track with some of his buddies on Saturday, but uh, yeah I turned down that invitation. When he asked me why, this is how the conversation went…

Don’t you love my honesty? Hah … What! I didn’t want to go! :X

So I’ll be meeting up with him at some point this evening and it should be fun to catch up. I won’t be joining for the “sport of kings,” however. Oh, boys.

Saturday I’ll be wandering around the Northalsted Market Days festival…it’s basically a street fest with a whole lotta gay. Like…a lot of gay. I live in a neighborhood in Chicago aptly named Boystown, which is the largest and I believe oldest official gay community in the country. AndIloveit. Pride Fest passes my front door. Love me some rainbows and glitter! Market days is a little more toned down than Pride, but it’s a street festival in Boytstown, so there is a lot of booze and half-naked insanely attractive men going on. And that means I’ll be there.

at first glance, just a normal street festival...

BUT…

so. much. gay.

gay Twister

 

gay Jersey Shore?

 

I ....YES. Yes. Just yes.

I love my neighborhood. It ain’t no secret, but in case you were wondering now, I am a big advocate of gay pride, marriage equality, and I am an ally. None of these images are meant to be in mockery, so please, no disrespectful comments.

I was also just thinking — it will be interesting to see what sort of new traffic these photos bring to the blog, no? haha.

Later in the day/earlier in the evening on Saturday, I’ll be going out on a second date with a guy I met recently. We had a great time on the first date and had so much to talk about and lots of things in common. I also got to drink one of my favorite types of beer — a Flemish Sour — when he suggested we get some drinks at the Map Room, a super neat watering hole in Bucktown. It also happened to be $5 draft night, which..yeah. Awesome.

I think we’re grabbing dinner then either seeing a movie or hitting up a bar — whichever one seems to fit best at the time, I suppose! I told him how much I love documentaries, and he was like well we could go see a documentary…Planet of the Apes is a documentary, right? Hahah. Zing!

LATER Saturday night, I’m meeting up with my loverbutt Laura, who is hosting some sort of hipster-chic poetry reading at her apartment (Hi Laura!!). I’m sure I will be out of place and awkward, but hey — what else is new in my life?

Sunday morning, I’m meeting up some fabulous (there’s that word again!) blogger ladies for brunch after Paige @ Running Around Normal does the Chicago Rock n Roll Half Marathon!!! Holy smokes, will I ever feel inadequate, haha. Amy and Nikki will also be there — so if any other Chicago ladies want to join, by all means, Tweet me!

Oh, and I have no idea where exercise is going to fit into this whole schedule thing. Yeah, I gotta work on that part…

Happy Friday, loves! What fun things do you have planned?

August 12, 2011 at 12:46 pm 2 comments

Night owl

I couldn’t sleep, so I’m up late working and putzing around on the computer.

Three different people I have dated throughout a very long span of time all contacted me within about five minutes of each other tonight (weird), and it is completely distracting me.

And now…I’m looking back on the butterflies and feeling sad. Sigh. I wish things like this got easier. I know I’ve grown up a lot in the past few years, but every time I get my heart broken, I feel like a 15 year-old girl all over again.

Can I send a message out to the Universe — to that wonderful, kind, patient, hilarious and perfect-for-me man out there who is waiting for me, specifically — to hurry up and find me already? This sucks.

August 10, 2011 at 3:27 am 8 comments

So I got hit by a car…and made some pesto

Oh, hello there.

Have you forgotten about me?

*waves frantically*

So this time, I have a legitimate excuse for my prolonged absence. As I was walking home from work Thursday, I was hit by a car. Some of you may have seen me mention it on Twitter, but after that, I took a short break from the world for a few days.

Let’s backpedal a bit — to answer the question that everyone is asking, yes, I’m okay. Everyone has been so nice and I really appreciate everyone asking if I’m okay – it means a lot! :) Now, as to how it happened?

Well, it was about 6:30 and I was rushing to catch a bus to my friend’s house to make cake balls for her boyfriend’s birthday. I was crossing the intersection right outside my building, and I had the green light and cross signal. As I was approaching the other side of the intersection, I still had about 23 seconds left on the crosswalk timer. A car had turned left from the cross street, and was waiting for me to finish crossing. Unfortunately, a cab driver behind the car decided he couldn’t wait an additional five seconds, so he cut around the side of the stopped car and, without seeing me, was going to drive through. He saw me in time not to kill me, thank God, but I didn’t see him coming and he hit me hard enough to knock me off my feet.

I was pretty stunned and it took a second to realize what had happened, and a few nice people rushed over to help me up and make sure I was okay. Long story short, I called 911 (but declined an ambulance) and made sure the cop wrote him a severe ticket. She was incredibly nice and didn’t make me feel like an idiot for crying in the middle of the street. She also let me know that she wrote him a ticket for a municipal code violation, instead of a traffic ticket, so he couldn’t get out of it with just a fine. The cab driver was nice enough and completely agreed with me in that the accident was entirely his fault, but he broke the law — plain and simple — so despite how nice of a guy he may be, I was still furious.

AND…he ruined my favorite pair of shoes. Not pleased.

More than anything, I’m incredibly thankful that I wasn’t hurt worse, or killed. It could have been so, so much worse. It takes things like this sometimes for you to see how your life could truly change forever in an instant, and to be thankful for every second you have with the people you love.

——

Thankfully, the friend who I was on my way to see  (and the aforementioned boyfriend) are both lawyers, so they came and picked me up to make sure I was okay . It was funny, because the boyfriend even happens to be a personal injury lawyer — or as my friend says it, “Psh – he’s the ambulance chaser.” Hah.

We went back to her apartment, but not before stopping for beer, some random fruit from the grocery store, and ordering Thai and tacos (random!) for delivery. She’s a good friend.

I helped her make some decorations and goodies for her boyfriend’s surprise party that was going to be on Saturday while sipping my beer and munching on our random dinner spread. We also watched trashy tv. It was the absolute best remedy for such a crappy day.

——-

Thursday night, I emailed my boss and let her know that I was going to get into work late so I could sleep in and see how I would feel the next morning. I was right, and I felt pretty sore and kind of shaken up, so I was glad that I had built in some time to take it easy. I made some coffee when I woke up and nibbled a small breakfast, got a little work done, then got started on making some homemade pesto!

Into the Magic Bullet went:

  • 1 oz fresh basil
  • 2 chopped cloves of garlic
  • 1/3-1/2 cup grated parmesan
  • 1.3 cup walnuts
  • 1/3 cup (plus more as necessary for ease of blending) good quality olive oil
  • a few grinds of sea salt
It took a little while for everything to get blended up, but once I did, it looked and smelled incredible. I seared some cherry tomatoes in a little bit of olive oil and salt in a really hot pan, which made them super plump and bursting with flavor. I mixed the pesto and the cherry tomatoes with some cooked whole wheat pasta, and topped it with some fresh chevre. It was so simple, and so amazingly delicious.
Oh, but that wasn’t all. This stuff was so good that I decided I wanted some more. I toasted half of a FlatOut Wrap in the toaster oven, ripped it into pieces, topped each with a schmear of goat cheese, a half cherry tomato and a glob of pesto. Mmmmmm. I feel like these could make some really good appetizers/hors d’ouvres in a pinch!
I can’t get enough of this stuff! Can’t wait to make it again :)
——
I took it easy Friday night and went home after babysitting the whole evening — it was certainly welcomed, so I didn’t mind being a lame-o that night.
Saturday night was the surprise party! First Laura and I went out to grab some dinner with a Groupon I had for RedFlame Pizzeria.
We enjoyed some beers while going over the menu.
We each had a Kolsch, but they were so tasty and refreshing that we decided to split a third!
The pizza here is known for their cooking method — first they grill the dough, then bake it in a super hot oven once the pizza is assembled. Yummmmm.
This was my ridiculous dinner date…
I swear she’s not antisocial…
I ordered a margherita pizza topped with prosciutto, and Laura ordered a white pizza with mushrooms, 4 cheeses and tooooons of garlic. She added arugula to it as well.
They were delicious! We had a little bit of each, but I picked the mushrooms off Laura’s ’cause I don’t like ’em.
It was amazeballs. Check out the grilled crust! Probably my favorite part.
We packed up the leftovers (which were totally consumed post-beer pong a few hours later…) and paid the bill, then hopped in a cab so we could get to the surprise party on time.
The decorations were so stinkin’ cute. He really likes beer…
…and penguins! It was the theme for the party and she made all the decorations herself. I was very impressed.
She even made this crazy penguin cake, to go along with the cake balls. It was awesome!
She topped rice Krispy treats with fondant. So talented!
The cake balls were red velvet, made with cream cheese frosting, then topped with chocolate. I had like, 8 million. Soooo good.
Aren’t my friends beautiful?
It was a great weekend!
——
Today I was not in the best of moods. I was tired, stressed out and just sort of sad. I made my way through work but got upset about something toward the end of the day, so I was really ready to get home by 6. Since today was really the only night in the week that I don’t have non-stop plans, I decided to take it easy and make myself a decent dinner, watch some crap TV and update the blog. These things always make me feel better when I’m down!
I had some ground beef I needed to use up, and my parents just gave me a George Foreman grill, so I made a burger! (actually, I made two, but only cooked one). I mixed the beef with some panko crumbs, sage, sea salt, a bit of olive oil, paprika, chopped garlic and garlic powder. While the burger was sizzling away in the GF, I baked some sweet potato fries and sliced zucchini to have on the side. I didn’t have any buns, so I had the burger on some grilled bread (I made two pieces but only ended up eating one), and topped it with creamy goat cheese and romaine. It turned out to be a really tasty dinner that came together pretty easily!
I’ve been nibbling on strawberries and a few dark chocolate peanut butter cups for dessert and catching up on blogs. Gonna make my lunch for tomorrow then hit the hay for the night.
Sorry it’s been such a long time since my last update! What have y’all been up to lately? I’d love to hear!

August 8, 2011 at 10:31 pm 8 comments

Mixed feelings on yoga + protein brownie

Oooohhhhhhhhhh, why hello there.

Yes, I know it’s been awhile. I’m sorry!

Forgive me?

——

I was in a bit of a rut for awhile, you see. With the increasing pain in my right knee, my runs were becoming more painful and less frequent. This was not only frustrating, but also disheartening. I was feeling my motivation starting to wane as the possibility of running slipped farther and farther away, and other things just sort of followed suit.

Bleh.

So I decided to do something about it, and took my sorry ass to the physical therapist’s office. She had me explain my symptoms (excruciating right knee pain during lunges, squats, and going up or down stairs), history of pain (patellofemoral pain diagnosed at 12, brief physical therapy followed, nothing since) and then watched as I walked, skipped, tip-toed and heel-walked (??) back and forth a few times.

The results? Apparently my right leg is functionally shorter than my left, causing me to favor it and tilt my hips to compensate for the height difference. This makes soooo much sense, as I have always had a feeling that something was a little “off” about my gait. She did some stretching, some pulling, some general moving body parts around, then had me do some exercises to strengthen both my hips and my gluteus medius muscles.

I am very, very excited to continue with this and hopefully get to a pain-free place soon!

——

I went to yoga tonight. To be honest…I’m just not sure I’m ever going to like yoga. I know it’s good for me. I know it relieves stress, improves flexibility and strengthens my body. But I can’t help but find myself thinking, during every damn downward dog, “This suuuuuuucckkkkksss.” Am I crazy? Amy I the only person whose wrists hurt after the third sun salutation? Who looks at the clock on the wall with dread after seeing that there are still 30 minutes left? Parts of the class feel good (I love Warrior 2), but other parts just make me want to curl into a ball.

Oh wait — isn’t that a yoga pose too?

source: Your Yoga Place

Anyway, I decided to go today since my knee is still hurting, but I was really craving some movement for my body. I’m glad I went. It felt great to challenge myself (my balance sucks) and even better to successfully finish the class with only a few minor adjustments from the instructor. I might go again, but for now, I still have pretty mixed feelings on yoga.

——

To combat the food rut, I hit up Trader Joe’s Monday night. Oh. My. Goodness. $111 later, let’s just say that opening up the fridge and pantry is a very exciting event right now. I’ll share some of the loot in a later post, but trust — it is good.

——

With the aforementioned loot, I decided I wanted to get creative for dinner tonight. And so I did — and then some. Y’all, I made homemade pesto. This stuff was so good that I nearly went weak in the knees. In fact, I’m getting a little tingly just thinking about it. But because I’m too lazy to upload the pictures right now I like keeping you in suspense, the recipe will have to go up in an upcoming post as well. It’s super easy, and super GREEN. Oh my goodness.

——

For now, you’re just going to have to settle with an ooey, gooey, high protein, single-serving brownie. I know — life is tough.

Start with a few simple ingredients:

  • 1/3 cup pureed pumpkin (can sub applesauce)
  • 2 T rolled oats
  • 1 T unsweetened cocoa powder
  • 1/2 scoop protein of choice (this is optional; I used chocolate sun warrior)
  • 1 egg (can sub flax egg)
  • sweetener of choice (I use 1 packet stevia)
  • 5-10 dark chocolate chips.
Whisk egg in a bowl with a fork and add cocoa powder; mix again. Next add pumpkin and stir, then add in oats, protein powder and stevia. Spray a mug or a small bowl with a little bit of Pam spray, then pour in mixture. Stick chocolate chips into the batter, making sure to push them under the surface in different spots. Microwave for 4 1/2 to 5 minutes. Top with maple syrup and devour straight out of the bowl while still hot and gooey. Smile and revel in the deliciousness.
This isn’t super low-cal, but it’s simple, wholesome and packs a great dose of protein for either a mini-meal (for those of you that do that) or a post-run/gym snack. Make this. Right now. You will be hooked — I sure was :D
—–
I’m hitting the sack, and hopefully preparing for a short trip to the beach tomorrow afternoon for a mid-workday break! Goodnight!

August 2, 2011 at 11:11 pm 9 comments

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