I’m a lucky lady
One of my wonderful friends decided it probably wouldn’t be ideal to leave me sitting pantsless in my room, topping off an endless glass of cheap wine by myself listening to Coldplay. Generally, I disagree, but I gave up and went out for beers (hah!) and Thai with him and another friend I hadn’t seen in awhile. Bless their hearts for letting me bitch and moan in the backseat the entire ride there.
I had some delicious pad woonsen and a few Goose Island 312s. Totally hit the spot, and they really cheered me up. Thank goodness for good friends :)
After dinner, we headed back to my place and rolled around on the floor with my little rascals and caught up on each others lives, as well as a few goofy blogs. I had another glass (or 3) of wine and tucked myself into bed early. I can’t promise I didn’t listen to some more Coldplay.
In this particular instance (and many others passed, and more to come as well, I’m sure), I was upset about a dude. He did a shitty thing, and it made me feel shitty, and it was a shitty situation. As many times as I’ve dealt with morons, it is still a disappointment at the least and very hurtful at most. Despite the fact that I appreciated this dude being honest about his feelings, he went about them very immaturely and somewhat disrespectfully. I was sad. I still am kind of sad. But after going though all the silly stages of dating so many times, I’ve put together some rules for myself. One of them (which, surprisingly, took quite a long time to learn) is that it’s okay to be sad. It’s okay! Men are jerks and make you feel bad sometimes. I can’t tell you how many hours I’ve spent sniffling my way through a box of Kleenex, wondering why I was such a weakling. But really, it’s okay to be sad.
But a clause to that first rule, at least for me, is that you get one day. Maybe two, depending on the severity/length/whathaveyou of the situation. One day to wallow, feel bad for yourself, cry, mope around, listen to sad music, whatever you need to do. But after that day, or those days (if necessary), it’s time to pick yourself up and move the hell on. It’s still okay to be a little bummed out for awhile — hell, it’s natural and NORMAL — but I absolutely refuse to let these sort of things disrupt my life more than they deserve to. In this instance, there isn’t a reason why my life should be disrupted, so I’m speaking in more general terms. I have let horrible dudes cause me to miss class, give up my gym time, and give me really ugly cases of tear-induced puffy eyes. That shit doesn’t fly anymore. So if you’re upset over some jerk who blew you off, didn’t call, or simply said or did something stupid, have your mopey time — but make sure it’s for YOU, not him.
Phew! So I was feeling somewhat disheartened last night (see above), and getting my mope on, coming up with all sorts of reasons to feel bad for myself. Or rather, bad about myself. Not permanently, but you know, one of those days. I’ve been working my ass off at the gym and was beginning to think it wasn’t really paying off, but then, aha! I put on a pair of pants this morning that I had bought recently and they were noticeably looser! BAM! I love little moments like that. And just like that, I am inspired to get my (noticeably less jiggly) ass back on the wagon and back to the gym after work today. I didn’t really fall off, but it’s nice to notice a payoff.
Back to work I go, lovelies. Catch ya on the flip side.